There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
