But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
