I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
