'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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