Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
