they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
