Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We have started to decorate penises.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
