we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
