Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
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Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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