I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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