just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
