I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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