i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
