Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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