I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
