Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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