Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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