She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
