Don't you send me to vm
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
its liver damage thursday
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
