She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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