I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
