it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
