And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
