i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
