I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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