I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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