I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
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pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
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I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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