and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize