Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
