Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize