Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
