she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
