yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize