you told grandpa to call you daddy
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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