You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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