Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
