i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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