boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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