Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize