i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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