Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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