Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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