i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
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