TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
