Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
