He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
