Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Boobs are out for the taking
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
