i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
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my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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