its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize