white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm like, not good at living.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
