We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
