But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
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I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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