Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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