tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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