I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
