He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
