I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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