Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
