I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
