Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
